“As I was just saying to a friend the other day, you can’t grow into someone new unless you make some room by clearing out a bit of the old you that doesn’t serve you anymore”. JR Satterly
Many times, inspiration for these blogs comes from your comments and responses to other topics we write about. Thank you for that! And today, I wanted to expand on this comment from a young woman who wrote to us about some “internal housekeeping” that she has done.
There is one thing in life that is constant: change. And there’s no getting around it – the person you are before any kind of change is not the exact same person who emerges at the end. The important thing to remember is that YOU get to decide how to navigate that change, what you let go of and what you keep along the way. Think of cleaning out your closet – what’s been stuffed onto that top shelf, what doesn’t fit anymore (for better or worse), how about things you haven’t worn for years but can’t seem to part with, anything that makes you feel fabulous when you wear it?
This metaphor of internal housekeeping is really about how we deal with changes in our lives and the feelings that we experience. Change is much easier to handle when we intentionally invite it in. Almost everyone can handle positive change- a good example of this might be getting a new job or entering into a new relationship. It’s not so easy when it is thrust upon us or out of our control-maybe the loss of someone you love, or a difficult medical diagnosis. These can shake up our sense of balance and make us feel helpless. We’ve all had plenty of both kinds of changes throughout the years.
So, dealing with change requires us to do some internal housekeeping. What’s on the housekeeping check list? It’s necessary to clear out some of the “old you” that doesn’t fit anymore to allow for the “new you” that emerges through the transition.
Here are some tips to help you tidy up your internal spaces to allow for the new self coming your way.
- Be honest with yourself. What hasn’t been working for you lately? Attitudes, time commitments, bad habits? Any that you could let go of without falling apart? If something has to go to make room for the new, what’s the one that’s holding you back the most?
- Acknowledge that acceptance of a changing situation takes time. Allowing yourself to feel and work through any emotions that arise and embracing the new things coming into your life is courageous, important and can’t happen all at once.
- Resisting change is normal because it elicits fear of leaving what is familiar and trying to adapt to the unknown. Lower the fear factor by asking yourself if the fear is real or imagined.
- Small changes lead to bigger ones. Don’t clean that closet all at once! Start with an easy choice, then move on to a bigger one to build your confidence and trust your decisions.
- Trying hard to keep everything the same as it was takes a lot of energy. Wouldn’t it be enjoyable to use that same energy on more fulfilling experiences?
- Trust yourself and visualize the best outcome. Your innate creativity and ability to problem-solve will help you move through the change in a positive way.
If you’re interested, you can do a deeper dive in how to navigate change in our book and also find some creative practices to enhance the transition process.
Ask Yourself:
What has been the most difficult change in my life in the last 6 months?
What was my greatest strength to get through that time?
What new changes am I inviting into my life now?
Hoping you find a rainbow this week to guide you to a new somewhere! Suzanne & Patty