When we were working on our last blog, on relationships, the issue of sex came up. You may wonder why two widows in their 70’s would be interested in that!
Our aging process is longer, and perhaps different from that of our parents and grandparents – or maybe we are just more verbal about it! Sex has had so many uses throughout history : impregnation, pleasure, domination, intimacy, control. As seniors continue to explore sexuality – their own as well as others, more physical issues emerge – erectile dysfunction, thinning vaginal walls, lack of lubrication. Are our bodies signaling us that this era of our life is over? Or shall we accept the medical community’s interventions for ongoing satisfaction? Is a partner necessary?
And what about the emerging emotional issues that are also part of our sexuality? Are you feeling like you’re invisible now as an older adult? Are you still able to feel viable and desired? How do you manage taking care of sexual needs if you don’t have a partner- is that comfortable for you?
And while that may take care of individual satisfaction, it doesn’t address the issue of intimacy in relationships. Has sexual play become boring in a long term relationship? Served its purpose and you’re done with it?
This all brings up the issues of boundaries – which we will be addressing in our next blog – physical, mental, spiritual, social and emotional. Defining your boundaries allows authentic interaction, and sexuality is only one aspect of that.
And for those of you who are not yet seniors- you may not being dealing with the same physical sexual challenges, but you are dealing with some of the same emotional questions we have posed here and that many of us share, no matter what our age.
Ask yourself –
Is sex still a part of my life? Am I okay with the answer to that?
Have your sexual needs changed with age? If so, how have they changed?
Is a partner involved? Long term, short term?
Hope this week brings you opportunity to explore all the different facets of yourself that make you truly unique. Patty & Suzanne